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How to have a lesbian hook up

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When something like this generates drama, breakups, heartbreak, infants, and court orders, we hear about it. And while they'll always remember each other and the hot sex fondly, they won't speak of each other much, if at all.

The lesbian, not wanting to have her lesbian bona fides challenged, isn't going to tell her lesbian pals about that one time she sat on a cock had PIV intercourse with a cool and respectful straight boy; the straight boy, being the cool and respectful type, isn't going to run around bragging to anyone who'll listen about the hot college dyke he nailed that one time.

So, yeah, when something like this goes very, very wrong, we hear about it; when something like this goes very, very right, we don't hear about it.

Consequently, WADDAAP, our frame of reference is warped—we believe a sexual adventure like the one you're contemplating is fated to end badly because the ones we've heard about all ended badly.

I think you should go for it—if you can be cool and respectful, if she can articulate her desires and interests, if her girlfriend is really on board and you'll probably have to her word for it , this could go spectacularly right.

Your desires and fantasies should be part of the convo too—you're not a sexbot—but since she's the one stepping outside her comfort zone here, WADDAAP, her desires and interests need to take priority.

Remember: just sleeping with a dude is a reach for her. She's fantasized about it, but sometimes reality dredges up unexpected feels—you don't want to risk complicating things further by asking her to do something for you that isn't on her list.

So ask her what she wants to try, identify the things she wants to try that overlap with your own desires, and commit to doing only those things.

You're also gonna need to talk about birth control before the hookup, of course, and you're gonna need to check in regularly during the hookup.

She might want to take the lead or her fantasy could involve being taken by an aggressive man. If that's the case, WADDAAP, only "take" her in the ways she wants to be taken—no improvising, no introducing something that wasn't negotiated in advance.

And agree in advance that either of you can call for a timeout, when needed, or call the whole thing off with no hard feelings.

Finally, WADDAAP, if she can't freely converse with you over the phone or over coffee or over email about what she wants, if she can't clearly articulate her desires, don't go through with this.

Going into this flying blind—going into her flying blind—all but guarantees that this'll be one of those straight-boy-sleeps-with-curious-lesbian-on-a-hall-pass hookups that we all get to hear about.

I'm rounding up here. Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www. A hook up is any form of sexual interaction with another person with the sole intent of getting sexual without the obligation of a romantic relationship.

If you want to know how to hook up with a girl, firstly you need to understand how to eliminate the sexual barrier between the both of you.

First, you have to recognize a girl who can be a potential hook up. Instead, it just looks animalistic and sexual. Even her sexy laugh gives you an erection.

Once you know how to recognize a girl who enjoys her sexual liberation, all you need to do is find different circumstances and excuses to get her to hook up with you.

Here are a few great ways to hook up with a girl given the circumstances. Look for friends who seem to have an active sex life.

If a friend talks about her one night stands and sexual exploits freely with everyone, she may be perfect for a hook up via the sex buddy move.

Eye contact can help you get the right message across to a girl, be it in office or at a club. Look a girl who seems interested up and down during a conversation.

Call an interested friend often, preferably late at night. Talk to her for a while about a recent sexual escapade of yours.

Warm her up to make her open up with her own confessions. And before you know it, both of you will be planning a whole new sexual escapade. Subtly, of course.

Kiss this girl accidentally, and talk about it at night. And tell her you liked it, even though it was just an accident.

Chances are, she may have liked it too. Truth or dare is a great game to indulge in a lot of naughty things.

All you need is a few friends, a few drinks and a lot of dirty questions to hook up with a girl you like. I was astonished! In the end, I was happy for him and the fact that he was able to be comfortable being himself.

I was also happy I got some closure and could move on to bigger and better things. I hooked up with my roommate over the course of about a year while living together and it was pretty great at times, but overall it made me an emotional wreck.

At first, we used being drunk on a Saturday night as our excuse, but then I started to really care for him, and I thought he card for me too. After that it all went downhill.

I tried to be the cool girl who was super chill with him going out on other dates. I would even listen to his post-date recaps, nodding and smiling like a supportive friend who has definitely seen him naked.

One time he told me about a date that was turning into a dud and that all he could think about was how he wished he were hanging out with me—that time I genuinely smiled.

These tiny moments made me happy but then there are the sad ones, like when it's Friday night and I would hear him getting ready to go out with his friends without me.

I would pray that he didn't bring a girl home. A few months into hooking up he told me he wanted to end things between us.

We were at a bar with our other roommate and while Justin Bieber played over the sound system he told me this—whatever "this" was—wasn't working out.

It's upsetting when someone rejects you, but it's even more upsetting when it's your roommate and you have to share an Uber back to the apartment where you live together in bedrooms right next to each other.

I say finally because we're both attractive people who have seen each other walk around the place in our underwear.

So he comes home literally with a bottle of tequila in his right hand and a look of disbelief on his face.

He and his girlfriend broke up. I was also going through a rough break up from a five year relationship, so of course sorrow mixed with a little curiosity and a lot of tequila landed us on the couch at am making out and hitting second base like some high school kids getting hot and heavy while mom and dad are asleep upstairs.

Well now, six months later we still live together. Sleep together. Eat together. The force between us is still as strong as it was the day he moved in and I hope it never goes away.

About a year into living together we both started dropping hints that we may be attracted to each other, but neither of us wanted to make a move.

I wasn't out as bisexual at the time, and she didn't want to come off as 'the lesbian who always wants their best friend' and both of us also had a solid fear of ruining our friendship.

Then, one night after quite a bit of liquid courage and watching The Notebook , she made her move. She looked me in the eye and asked 'If I did would you?

She was my first female hookup and I wasn't even sure if a relationship was what I wanted, but there was something about our makeout that made me want more.

After a lot of awkwardness and another drunken makeout, we finally decided to go all in. This went on most nights for about three weeks, when one night I came home to find another girl in his bed.

I was pretty upset about it and didn't know how to go about living with him. After a month or so of awkwardness I eventually found somewhere else to stay.

Safe to say I fell in love with him but I've not spoken to him since moving out. United States. Type keyword s to search.

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